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Monday, January 10, 2011

I Invented A Flying Car

Not really, but I could have. If I was alive 100 years ago.

I've shirked my internet responsibilities in favor of my favorite pre-internet past time, reading. I spent the last week on H. G. Wells, Edgar Rice Burroughs, and a number of short story anthologies of the science fiction variety. Since I'm currently financially restricted to the free offerings of Project Gutenberg, I'm getting to see the present, recent past and near future through the eyes 100 years old or more. Thus, I am inclined to write words such as "thus" and equally inclined to dwell once again on my quasi-obsession of the failed future.
This lead me to the realization that I've actually done quite the opposite. In 2004, while writing my doomed-to-never-see-the-light-of-day novel, I predicted personal GPS devices, netbooks and the advancement of smart phones into what we know them to be today. In all fairness, all of these concepts were likely in the works when I fancied that I invented them, but still, I think I deserved the right to do a little w00t dance in my mind.
There was but one piece of fictional technology that I conceived that has not yet seen the light of day. For all I know, someone is working on it and it too may be available for mass use in years to come. I hope for the sake of anyone who goes to the cinema that my humble concept does not go the way of the flying car.
I envisioned technology by which one would be able to see an unlit computer or phone display in complete darkness. My invention began with night vision contact lenses that allowed the wearer to see as perfectly at night as in daylight. From there I expanded my fake technology to work with hand held computers that would appear blank to anyone other than the wearer of the specific lenses that were coded to the light frequency of the specific device.
Think about it. How cool would it be to go see a movie and not spend half of it blinded by the person two aisles below who thinks "no texting" is a suggestion rather than a rule?
Now if only there was a way to convince the guys that walk around playing music out their phone's speakers that the headphones they paid $50 were likely made to enhance the pleasurable aspects of listening to music whereas the phone's tin can speaker is an insult to the artist they clearly revere enough to tell the whole world that they listen to.
I may never drive a flying car, but in the event that my concept above never comes to fruition, don't think I won't have one of my robot minions give the theater texter a few etiquette lessons of the laser beam variety.